Brain cloud

Lately my mind seems to be wandering more and more. I truly expect to wake one morning and find it has physically left my body and taken up residence somewhere else. This would not be a good thing...

I have Norman Rockwell images of my family in my head all the while wishing to be on a beach living in a shack chasing one reef after the next. My time is spent juggling work options and opportunities all the while mourning the loss of my mother/father and realizing the major changes that are occurring all around. My brother-in law is desperately battling cancer, and one of my staff members just let me know they are very ill. I am seeing peoples lives change and clearly being able to see what they should do. Separating myself in a pragmatic way. Looking at business opportunities and dreaming of what I could do all without making a damned move myself.  I am not young anymore and never will be again.

Busyness and noise, activity and slothfulness, coffee, social media, beautiful kids and bride, time spinning away as I seem to be a spectator of much and a participant of little. Seeking to engage in the real. Seeking to be who and what I am already seems like a circular journey. When I am here I imagine there.  Makes me think of the scene in "Joe vs the Volcano" when he is told he has a brain cloud.

Maybe I have one.

I have nothing to complain about, as I am blessed beyond measure. I have a myriad of choices for whats next in my life and my gut is pulling me to not commit to any one but to commit to all in a way. Knowing me, the blinding choice is clear but I don't want to see. Lack of a decision is a decision, and maybe a bad one. or not.

The adventure is fun, not being afraid of what is to come, and being open to what's next. Maybe my mind will lock in when the right thing arrives so I don't miss it in all the self created noise.

Peer Pressure or an act of desperation?

I have to admit, I have been jealous of all the blogger's out there, randomly placing their thoughts on some data cloud in cyber space, and then having people actually interested in what they have to say.  Are they special, or did they just "start"?

Maybe this is peer pressure. Have I caved to the desire to be one of noisy minority of tech cool? Or maybe this is a mutinous act from my brain to get some of these thoughts out there so I can clearly analyze the adventures of me. I guess time will tell, or if this will even sink in. the deeper this adventure goes I assume the more revelations that will come.

So I "plan" to write about all types of randomness that I encounter. Great foods, diving, my wonderful family, travels, glimpses of the holy, and this crazy thing called agile.